In 2015, Iain Macintosh went back in time to save Everton. After eight seasons he trudged away with significant emotional baggage. The following year, he tried it again. This time he was sacked after just eight games. Now, 10 years older, he returns one last time to put right what once went wrong…
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As the end of 2016 approaches, we find ourselves in an unusually strong position. I always say that 10 wins is enough to avoid relegation because if you’re good enough to win 10 times, you’ll find the draws somewhere. We’ve won 11. We are not going to get relegated.
The question then is: what will we do? 15 wins would probably give us the ninth-place finish that Bill Kenwright requested at the start of the season. We could potentially hit that marker stone by mid-January with four games that are not easy. But they are (Bournemouth, Sunderland, Burnley, Watford) the sort of games that a team with European ambitions really should win.
Bournemouth are first up and they are a tricky team to play against. They have the pace and accuracy of Callum Wilson who has eight Premier League goals to his name already. Benik Afobe is no slouch either. But our formation, a deep-lying, counter-attacking 4-1-4-1 is almost custom built to hit teams hard if they get too close. With two 3-0 wins behind me, I am actually pretty confident of a result here.

And I’m right to be confident. Bournemouth never really get going. We take the lead from a well-worked corner which is nice because we have actually been working well on them. Domagoj “Demigod” Vida heads in a rare goal. Gerard Deulofeu scores with a neat finish as half-time approaches and I presume that we’ll be going down the tunnel with a nice two-goal cushion. I am very much mistaken.
We go down the tunnel with a nice four-goal cushion because of a Romelu Lukaku hit and yet another from Deulofeu. I decide to congratulate the players at the break and tell them how pleased I am with them and so obviously the second-half performance is unrecognisable. Bournemouth go close a few times, but their hearts really aren’t in it and I have the chance to rest key players ahead of the New Year games.

David Moyes retains control of Sunderland but they’re in the bottom three and he may not be there much longer. Lots of managers are in the same situation including Antonio Conte at Chelsea, Claudio Ranieri at Leicester and Bob Bradley at Swansea. Roberto Mancini, meanwhile, has replaced Jurgen Klopp at Liverpool.
We are missing only the stricken Martin Stekelenburg (slipped disc until February) and Idrissa Gueye (a third muscular strain of the season) and our domination in recent games means that we’ve been able to withdraw key players early, so no excuses here.

It’s a grim day on Wearside, freezing cold with constant sleet, but we are Everton, we are the Dogs of War and we can cope with a bit of weather. What we can’t cope with is Papy Djilobodji who seems to be everywhere at all times. I felt he was the weak link of the side but he’s constantly foiling us. It looks to be a frustrating afternoon, albeit a useful point away from home, when Romelu Lukaku nods down a long ball, Gerard Deulofeu springs onto it and clips it past Jordan Pickford at his near post. I really hope we can keep him. That’s four wins on the bounce.

New Year’s Day dawns and I welcome the first signing of the January transfer window, snapped up from Paris St Germain’s reserves for £15m.

With Stekelenburg entering the last stages of his career and dear old Joel Robles still being very much Joel Robles, I need a goalkeeper for the next 10 years, someone who’s good now but could be even better later. I think Alf Areola could be that man. His handling could still improve but he’s very good in the air and that’s crucial in this league. He won’t play for the first team straight away, we’ll let him settle and get some time in the U23s first, but I have high hopes.
I am concerned about our clash with Burnley though. This is our third game in seven days and we’ll have to make some changes. Our preparations are not aided by bids for Kevin Mirallas and Ramiro Funes Mori from China and Chelsea respectively. I give it a bit of the old ‘new phone who dis’ and ignore them.

We start really well, Lukaku warms Tom Heaton’s gloves with a rocket from the edge of the area and I’m confident that we’ll get the job done. And then, under no pressure at all, and just 16 minutes into the game, Tom Davies leaps in two-footed on George Boyd and is instantly and correctly dismissed. Stupid boy.
Unsurprisingly, we lose our grip on the game after that and Burnley take the initiative. They switch from their extremely defensive opening stance to Sean Dyche’s preferred 4-4-2 and we’re forced to order the back four to stay at home. I throw on James McClean for some fresh legs but they carve through us too easily and Stephen Ward’s opening goal was very much with the run of play. An already exhausted Ross Barkley is my final gambit and I tell him assertively that he has the ability to change the game. He nods and tells me that I lack credibility. I guess that’s a fair point.
With two minutes to go, McClean swings in a corner, Lukaku nods it down and Deulofeu volleys home an equaliser. I really, really hope we can keep him.

It will be a complicated transfer window for us. Areola’s arrival has pushed us over our wage budget, as I discover when I’m informed that I can only offer AC Milan’s Andrea Poli a £13,000 per week deal, something he is oddly reticent to accept.
My interest in Stefan de Vrij ends when I discover that Real Madrid, Barcelona and Chelsea have all made bids for the young Dutchman. I have one eye on Axel Witsel at Zenit, two eyes when I learn that Idrissa Gueye has been called into the Senegalese African Nations Cup squad as an emergency replacement. I thought I’d got away with that. I also like the look of Filip Kostic and Andriy Yarmolenko, but I can’t do anything until some money comes in and some wages go out.
We are in a fine position in the league, we can have a good old crack at the FA Cup when we host a struggling second-flight Aston Villa at the weekend. But my plans to kick on after this incredible start will have to remain on hold until the vultures have finished circling my dressing room.

I think I’m more surprised to see Arsenal top of the league here than Everton in third.
I think Wenger has finally cracked it!
1 week down, 3 more weeks of waiting for bids for Delofeu. Need to hope for a little injury to put them off until summer? Could make him train a bit harder? 🤣
oh my god, that’s evil genius right there. “Gerard! Get on the rowing machine, Duncan’s going to throw bricks at you….DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT JUST DO IT”
We’re gonna need some drama here – I think I speak for everyone when I say this serene possession into the Champions League places isn’t what we signed up for… 😉
I feel like it’s just luring me in so it can hurt me even harder
“I tell him assertively that he has the ability to change the game. He nods and tells me that I lack credibility. I guess that’s a fair point.“
Fair play, I’ve not seen this mid-game before.
Almost no-one ever gives their subs last minute instructions. This is why.
We’re all going on a European tour, a European tour, a European tour…
You do seem quite reliant on the multi-club flibbertigibbet Deulofeu which is probably not a long term strategy.