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I am still in shock about that Stoke City result. I’ve been beaten before. Many times, in fact. I am no stranger to the bitter taste of failure. But getting done 4-0 by a team that’s battling relegation when you’re pushing for Champions League football… that’s a heavy blow. Heads must roll for this humiliation, provided of course that my head is not among them.

Matthew Pennington was at fault for two goals. He is dispatched to the reserves where he immediately shows his class, losing Southampton youngster Harrison Davies and allowing him to score in the first five minutes of an U23 clash. Alas, Demigod Vida’s continued unhappiness means that it won’t be long before he’s back. But we’ll spare him this Europa League tie.

We drew 0-0 with Athletic Kloob at Goodison Park a couple of weeks ago, so another draw would basically see us through to the next round. The hapless Pennington is replaced by Brendan Galloway (on his wrong side) and a few of the older players return too, like Seamus Coleman and James McCarthy. We have West Ham at the weekend, but the schedule is calming down now before it intensifies for Christmas, so I feel less rotation might help us get back on track.

We make a perfect start when Romelu Lukaku sets up Ross Barkley for a neat close-range finish and then we build on it through Galloway, of all people, who clips one home when Kloob fail to clear their lines. Our third goal is a thing of beauty, Lukaku again turns provider, lifting the ball across the edge of the box where Barkley side-foot volleys it past a despairing Kepa. It’s all going very well indeed.

Evidently, Kloob didn’t rotate their team at all at the weekend and so they look exhausted. In fact, I’m considering a host of changes at the break when Aritz Aduriz sticks one in our net and I think better of it.

I tell the players how pleased I am with their performance, especially after such a terrible display at the weekend. They respond by downing tools and Aduriz scores again to make it 2-3. This is typical.

Now I can’t make any changes at all. I want to take Ramiro Funes Mori off because he’s been at fault for both goals, but there’s no-one on the bench who can do any better. We really need a new centre-back. So I leave everybody out there and we absorb the pressure. We win, we’re through, but by thunder, we don’t make it easy for ourselves.

The trip to Spain has taken it out of the players and even suspending training for two days hasn’t helped. James McLean and Funes Mori will come out and, with a heavy heart, I send Pennington back into the defence for the trip to West Ham. Aaron Lennon is useful on the left apparently, so he can have a go there. The Hammers are mostly flair players, so I’m hopeful that an aggressive lineup will pay dividends. Let’s see how fancy they can play when they’ve got no kneecaps.

In spite of the fatigue, we start very well. For the third time in four days, Lukaku sets up Barkley and we take a very early lead. We should double it when Lennon is put through on goal, but he scuffs his shot wide. And that’s not the low point of his day either, he saves that for midway through the half when he shoves over Jonathan Callieri and allows Aaron Cresswell to level from the spot. Fortunately, Cheikhou Kouyate returns the favour, shoving over Galloway and giving Lukaku the chance to make it 2-1.

Barkley can’t do more than an hour, so I replace him with Andrea Poli and I put Lennon out of his misery too. And then with 10 minutes to go, Simone Zaza rises above Galloway and nods home an equaliser. I feel alright about that though, it’s been a very even game and a point away at West Ham is a decent result. I’m trying to be a bit more Kipling about everything, treat triumph and disaster as imposters just the same and all that.

Anyway, moments later Lukaku rises amongst a crowd of three West Ham defenders, the ball hits the back of his head, Adrian parries it into the post, it bounces back, hits him in the face, goes in and I leap into Duncan Ferguson’s arms and openly weep.

There’s no question that the Demigod Vida saga will end in January. He’s being tracked by Atletico Madrid and Roma, he’s made it quite clear that he doesn’t want to be here and I don’t care how good he is, I’m not putting him in my team. Besides, I’ve identified and procured his replacement.

Willy Boly is not particularly swift and he can only do six keepie-ups (if he really concentrates) but he is built like a truck and he’s devastating in the air. That’s my kind of centre-back. He’s cost me £12.5m, which is absolutely fine because I expect to get £20m plus for the recalcitrant Vida. And then I won’t ever think about him again.

West Bromwich Albion are a team that always seem to cause me problems, so I’m taking no chances. Filip Kostic has proved his fitness in the reserves, so he can come back. I will allow McCarthy a rest though as we have adequate cover there.

We are the beneficiaries of a very soft penalty inside the first 60 seconds, which makes a nice change. I didn’t see Craig Dawson do anything wrong, but I don’t like to argue with referees, so we let it stand. Lukaku steps up to strike his 13th Premier League goal of the season. Astonishingly, five minutes later, poor old Dawson trips Kostic up and Mike Dean points to the spot again. Lukaku calmly makes it 14.

Sadly, a neat interchange of passes between Remy Cabella and Josué is too much for us and the Baggies are back in it two minutes later. But we hold our shape, in spite of the tiredness in the squad, and we keep them at bay until the closing stages. Jonathan Biabiany breaks down the right and shapes to cross the ball, but he’s stopped by a decisive sliding tackle from that man Dawson. Sadly, he succeeds only in prodding the ball to Kostic who rifles home to make it 3-1. It really hasn’t been his day.

We have to play 11 games between now and New Year’s Eve, which really is too much. However, given that we’re basically through in Europe, I can take a bit of a chance and field a complete reserve side for my last two games. There are lots of new faces on the plane for the trip to Turkey. I might have to make some of them wear name badges. I even make Vida play, just because I can.

I haven’t seen Emre for years. Remember Emre? He was sporadically impressive for Newcastle back in the early noughties. He’s 37 now and he can barely run. But when you can smash one into the top corner from 40 yards, I guess you don’t need to run, do you?

That goal does wake us up though and it isn’t long before we’re back in the game. Leighton Baines flings over a cross for Rick Karsdorp to head home, Kostic serves one up for Oumar Niasse, before turning provider for Aaron Lennon. When Kostic gets his own to make it 4-1, I thank my stars that I left all the first-teamers at home and give Bryan Oviedo a run-out on the left wing. Because I can.

And so we begin the Christmas rush, x games in x days, on the back of four straight wins. Memories of Stoke will linger, but at least we can move on with a degree of confidence.

It still sounds weird to discuss Everton in connection with a title race, but Manchester United’s incredible start to the season should soon put paid to that. Those three defeats, to Hull, Norwich and Stoke, for shame, have really hurt us. The league table is taking a familiar shape with Manchester City clawing their way back up the table, but I still think we can challenge for a top four place and that we should certainly be able to finish in the top seven and thus keep ourselves in Europe. Perhaps if we hadn’t lost to CSKA Moscow, we could look at spending £40m or so of Champions League money in January, but as it stands I think we’ll be looking at one more £15m player and maybe a couple of promising youngsters for the reserves. It’s not the sort of progress I’d hoped to make. But it is a sort of progress.